Where do babies REALLY come from?
by Mushawuff
Summary: Something like a parody of Jack Neo's 'I Not Stupid Too',a Singaporean film. Anyway, its definitely gonna have 1x5 in it so R&R, please!
1. Chapter 1

Prologue 

It was a dark and stormy night. Thunder roared and lightning cracked through the gloomy sky. Kuki, Wally and Hoagie were in Wally's room busily devising an 'evil plan'.

"Hahahahaha!" Hoagie wiped the tears of mirth from his shielded eyes. "I bet they're watching that show now. And I still can't believe Numbuh 1 still doesn't know where babies come from!"

"Yeah! I so know where those brats come from! They come from…from…where do they come from again?" a small blonde questioned a lanky Asian girl who was sitting next to him.

"Well, actually…I don't know either." The Japanese admitted. "Maybe Numbuh 2 knows!"

The chubby boy blushed. "I…I…ummm…err…anyway, its getting late, Numbuh 3, maybe we should all get some sleep. Remember what I told you to do!" The young pilot giggled again.

"Ay, sure Numbuh 2." The Australian yawned. Goodnights were said, and the three operatives then crept back to their rooms, laughing on their way.

END OF PROLOGUE

A/N: I know, sorta confusing. Wait till I get chapter 1 sorted out and you guys will soon know whats going on…hehehe

Disclaimer: I don't own KND and I don't own half of the plot either, actually. KND belongs to Mr Waburton and the other half of the plot belongs to Mr Jack Neo.


	2. Unexpected Kiss

Chapter 1 

The bell went off, signaling recess. The KND rushed out of the class, through the hall and managed to find a seat in the crowded cafeteria. Hoagie went over to get his food, whilst the rest of the sector sat down to chat for a bit.

After a few moments, Hoagie finally arrived at the table with his trays and trays of food. He winked at Wally, who winked back. He was sitting beside Abby who was talking to Nigel and, wow, what a co-incidence, sitting beside her. 'Just nice' Hoagie thought, seeing that the situation was all going all exactly as planned, gave his blonde friend another signal.

Kuki pretended to sip at her drink, but the truth was that she was eyeing the two victims: Nigel and Abby. Wally grinned, and pushed Abby HARD towards Nigel. Shocked, leader and second-in-command gasped as their lips touched each other's. At once, Kuki sprang into action. She leaped on top of her table and screamed. "AAAAAHHH! NIGEL AND ABBY ARE KISSING!!!"

Stunned by the sudden outburst, the two kids were still in their kissing position, like they were stuck together. All the kids in the cafeteria turned their heads in Nigel and Abby's direction and some started making kissy noises. Soon, the whole room was echoing with the laughter of young children. Finally getting over the sudden ordeal, the operatives hurriedly pulled away and blushed.

The rest of Sector V were still giggling away in between their lunch bites though the laughter of the other kids had already died down. Instead, now it was worse, they were gossiping, whispering around and pointing at the already embarrassed kids. Nigel groaned. "Why did you do that Numbuh 5?" He asked out of embarrassment, though to be honest he liked the feeling of her lips over his.

"Numbuh 5 didn't do anything! Numbuh 4 pushed me!" She cast an angry glance at Wally, who flinched uncomfortably and started to whistle innocently, as if it were no big deal.

Numbuh 1 glowered at the latter, who smiled this big corny grin back at his leader. He sighed. "Ugh…never mind. Just don't do that ever again, Numbuh 4. And that's an order!" the boy quickly added. Hoagie and Kuki just stared, amused.

The bell tolled again, and so the KND filed back into class. "Well, Numbuh 5's just glad that's ova." The girl stuffed her hands in her pockets as she made her way over to her desk.

A/N: Don't worry Nigel, you'll get to kiss her again later on in the story XD Anyway, I'll update either tomorrow or 2 days later, depends on situation. Don't forget to review! 


	3. Baby' Trouble

Chapter 2 

Bored to tears, the KND tried their best to concentrate on the teacher's lesson but were obviously finding sleep easy to come by. Before long, the whole class had 'fallen asleep' and that's when the teacher herself made an excuse to visit the ladies'. Once she left the classroom, the rest of the students quickly perked up (Courtesy of Hoagie and gang's 'evil plan') and carried Abby over to Nigel's seat. (Both were still in deep slumber.) The students quickly arranged the two kids' positions so that Abby was sitting on Nigel's lap and her head was resting comfortably on his shoulder while Nigel had one arm around Abby's waist and had his head rested atop Abby's.

The rest of the class then giggled ridiculously as they watched their 'victims' slowly wake up. The girl let a small shriek of surprise and quickly retreated back to her seat whilst the boy just stared, wide-eyed, after her and looked around at his classmates accusingly.

"Ok! Who did that? Numbuh 2? Numbuh 4? Huh? I demand an answer!"

Hoagie shifted, in mirth and guilt. "Umm…I don't know Numbuh 1." He let a giggle escape his lips. "All we know is that you really like Numbuh 5 and…maybe…maybe she sleepwalked!"

Kuki erupted with laughter and clasped her hands together. "Awwww…"

Wally gave his friend a small wink, and Hoagie walked casually over to Nigel and Abby. "Oh yeah, I forgot to ask if you guys watched last night's show." He smirked.

"Umm…yeah" replied the two children in unison.

Wally sauntered over, took his place next to Hoagie and winked again. The chubby boy continued. "Didn't the two adults in the show kiss and then they slept together…" he and Wally started to giggle as Nigel raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, so?"

"And then…what happened?"

Kuki hopped over happily. "The woman had the man's baby, silly!"

Nigel looked flabbergasted. "What's your point?"

"That's what you and Numbuh 5 did, didn't you?" he turned his gaze over to the pair of shocked kids. "So…"

Kuki squealed in glee. "Numbuh 5's gonna have a baby! YAY!"

"No ya fool! That's not where babies-" Abby rebelled, but was cut off from Nigel.

"Oh NO! I'm too young to be a dad! And…if Numbuh 5's having my baby, that means…she has to be a mom and if that happens…I'll…I'll have to MARRY her!" Nigel screamed in shock. "And my parents…they…they're going to be GRANDPARENTS!!!"

"No, no, no! Babies are-"

"Aw, c'mon, Numbuh 5, in these kind of shows what really happens in there is the truth! So you're really gonna have Numbuh 1's baby! YAY!" Kuki pranced in glee.

"So…" Abby stared down at her lower torso. "Aw, NO!"

"Oh my gosh, Numbuh 5, you're gonna be fat!" Numbuh 2 teased.

Abby scowled in disgust, but deep down in her mind, she was worried that what her teammates said might be true…

A/N: Awww…sad…only 1 review…anyway, I just felt like uploading this still cuz I'm kind. XDD Anyway if you people do read this, post a review please! Thankies.


	4. Abortion with pineapples?

Chapter 3 

Nigel busied himself with the rest of the school day thinking about the 'baby'. Suddenly, an idea pricked him. While he was waiting uncomfortably and impatiently for school to end, he kept stealing glimpses of Abby. 'What is she thinking about? Is she worried too?' These thoughts echoed in Nigel's ignorant mind as he continued to wait. And wait.

Finally, the long awaited school bell rung. Nigel screamed a quick apology to his friends, grabbed Abby's wrist and sped to his house, ran up to his bedroom and locked the door. Panting, he switched his computer on as Abby sat on one side of his bed and dusted herself.

"Umm… Numbuh 1? Why ja' bring Numbuh 5 here?"

"Come over."

Nigel made a space for Abby on his chair as she came over and he typed in his password on his computer. She sat down next to him, and noticed he had a nervous expression plastered upon his face.

"Numbuh 1? What are ya doin?"

"Well, I just want to know where babies come from…" he trailed off when a sudden look of annoyance crept onto his face. "Argh! I forgot that this computer has got no Internet on it! Now what are we gonna do?" He thought for a moment, and blinked. "Numbuh 5, do you have a plan or anything?"

Abby scratched her chin. "Hmm…Numbuh 5 did watch an Asian drama show which they said that pineapples can cause abortion or somethang…" (A/N: Its what some Asian people say but it's just a myth)

Nigel grabbed Abby's wrist again. "C'mon Numbuh 5! Quick! We've gotta go get to the fruit stall!" Pulling Abby along, he dashed out of the house, quickly arrived at a fruit stall and ordered a basketful of pineapples.

The boy heaved the heavy bag over to a nearby park, which he and his friend then plopped down, exhausted, on the smooth, green grass.

"So…um…Numbuh 5? Wanna take a bite?" Nigel gestured to the heap of yellow fruit.

Abby made a sick face. "Nuh-uh! Just try and make Numbuh 5!"

"Numbuh 5, just finish eating the whole basketful and all our troubles about being parents and having to marry each other and our parents being grandparents will be gone! Now, as your leader, I command you to eat one right now!"

Sulking, the girl gingerly helped herself to a slice; she made a somber face as her fingers sunk slowly into the fruit. Slowly, she started chewing on it, wincing even more as her teeth sank deeply into the disgusting yellow flesh. Seeing her suffering hurt Nigel, whom had secretly had a major crush on her all along. But still, they HAD to get rid of the 'baby' somehow.

Slowly, yet gradually, Abby swallowed it with an uncomfortable expression on her face. She made a gagging noise. "Numbuh 5 always hated pineapples Numbuh 1…can she please stop now?"

"Fine, I'll help you eat them." The leader picked up two pieces, one in each hand, and started devouring as fast as he could while Abby stared at him curiously. Nigel spat them out all of a sudden. "Numbuh 5, I'm not the one pregnant, you eat them!"

The girl's face was red and flushed. "Numbuh 5 really can't eat any more…" she whined. "Her stomach hurts…" Nigel stared at her, pity welling up in his eyes yet determination to get rid of the 'baby' took over. "Ok, Numbuh 5, just eat these two pieces and you're done." The bald boy took up two pieces of fruit in his hands and offered them to his second-in-command. She shook her head stubbornly, her hands clasped over her stomach.

"Numbuh 5, are you ok? Fine, I won't force you to eat any more. Let's go home." Abby winced and grabbed her stomach tighter. "Ya shouldn't force Numbuh 5 ta' eat those pineapples, ya know."

"Sorry, Numbuh 5. Can you get up?"

"Uh, no. It hurts too much."

Nigel smiled, and then he went behind Abby and scooped her up in a bridal position. "Well, is this better?"

The girl smiled and blushed. "Numbuh 1, just don't drop Numbuh 5 if you're flying, ok?"

"Of course I won't, Numbuh 5. Do you think I'm crazy?"

Nigel tapped his heels together and they pelted up into the vast, starry night sky.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Numbuh 5 thinks so."

"Good."

Nigel blinked. "Do you think we've got the baby out?"

"Nah. Numbuh 5 couldn't eat so many of those." The latter felt Abby shift slightly in his arms. "So Numbuh 5 says we'd probably haf'ta marry each other then. And Numbuh 5 thinks this is a good start." She paused, as if she'd said the wrong thing. The girl looked up at Nigel, and for a moment, their eyes met, then the two kids blushed and quickly turned away.

"Actually, Abby," Nigel felt nervousness explode inside him. "Abby…all these years I've always wanted…to tell you something. And since we have no choice but to marry each other, I'll just have to tell you now." With her total attention focused on him, it made Nigel feel uneasier. He took a deep breath. "Abby, i…i…i…just want to tell you that I lo-"

Nigel was cut off because he had already reached the treehouse and anyway, Numbuh 3 was there so he figured it would really embarrassing if she heard. He made a smooth landing and let Abby down.

"Hi Numbuh 5! Where did you and Numbuh 1 go? Oooo…I know! I know! Maybe you guys were out buying your engagement ring!" she gasped in happiness. "Or maybe you were buying your pretty dress! Did you bring me anything by the way? Did you? Did you? Did you?"

Abby laughed. "All Numbuh 1 bought me was tons of pineapples, Numbuh 3. And it was nasty." She yawned. "Numbuh 5's gonna go get some sleep. Goodnight guys." Kuki pranced down the stairs to her bedroom, whilst Nigel stood there blinking in confusion.

'Am I really having feelings for Numbuh 5?"


	5. Surgery

This chapter might be a little sick…don't kill me! But don't worry, no sexual themes XD. Anyway, on with the ficcie! Chapter 4 

Abby woke with a start. Since that day she had thought she was pregnant, she was being haunted by dreams of unsuccessful delivery (A/N: XD). Sitting up erect, Abby slowly calmed herself down. There was a soft knock on her door so the girl rubbed her eyes and staggered half-heartedly over to the door. She hesitated for a moment before closing her hands over the cheap doorknob wood and turned it.

The door clicked open to reveal Nigel with a bottle of something brownish and tonic-kish clutched in his hands.

"Morning, Numbuh 5. You should drink this. It says…" he paused to read the label stuck fast on the surface of the small bottle. The bald boy's cheeks were suddenly flushed red with embarrassment. "Nu-Numbuh 5…if I tell you what it is you still must drink it ok?"

The young African-American slowly nodded her head as she stared, disgusted at the brown concoction in the round bottle.

"Um…it…it…increases your uh, m…milk supply?" The boy managed to spill out between stutters.

Abby looked at her leader with a sick look. "Um, Numbuh 1, if ya hadn't noticed, Numbuh 5's still very err…flat…chested?"

Her leader stared at her. "Well, we have no choice, right? Come on, drink it will you?"

"Make Numbuh 5." His second-in-command blinked slowly. "Where did ya get that thang from anyways?"

"Erm…eBay?"

2pm

Hoagie, Wally and Kuki were in Hoagie's room bent over Abby who was lying down on her back on a stretcher-thingy. The two boys were sat in a corner watching (and giggling) as Kuki drew a scanner over Abby's stomach area. Kuki pretended to look surprised and quickly dashed out of Hoagie's room with a small piece of paper clutched in her left hand.

Heartbeats later, Kuki came running back in with Nigel hot on her heels. He quickly rushed to Abby's side and took both of her hands into his quickly.

"Abby? How are you feeling? Ok?" Nigel gasped.

"Ooo…so now you call Numbuh 5 Abby, huh?" Hoagie giggled.

Kuki shrugged. "Well, I think its ok, they're gonna get MARRIED anyway!"

Abby, ignoring them and Wally's smirks, replied. "Uh, yeah, Numbuh 5's fine. Why do ya ask?"

Nigel held up a piece of paper with a foetus drawn on it with crayon. "Uh…well…Numbuh 3 said that um…YOU REALLY HAVE A BABY IN THERE! SO ITS TRUE THAT I WILL HAVE TO MARRY YOU AND YOU WILL BECOME A MOM AND OUR PARENTS WILL HAVE TO BECOME…GRANDPARENTS!"

Abby, was still lying down on the stretcher, stifled a giggle. "Then Numbuh 5 says Cree has to become an aunt, then."

Kuki walked over to Abby's side. "Congratulations, Numbuh 5! So when are you and Numbuh 1 gonna get married?"

Abby heaved a long, exasperated sigh. "And how is Numbuh 5 gonna go tell mama and daddy that they're gonna be grandmas and grandfathers?"

Nigel patted her back. "Its Ok Abby, I guess we'll just have to explain to them. They'll understand." He turned his head slightly and caught sight of Wally and Hoagie laughing away.

"Um…guys, why are you laughing?"

"Umm…err…because we thought it would be weird if you…you." Hoagie beckoned to Nigel to come over. "Well, if you…don't tell Numbuh 5…you like…like her?" he whispered quickly into Nigel's ear. Wally nodded. "Yeah, wot he said!"

"Erm…Ok…but what if Abby doesn't like me back? Yeah, I…I…got to admit I think I'm in love with her and all…but what if she doesn't?" Nigel hung his head in worry.

"Ay, sure she has'ta, Numbuh 1, even if she doesn't, she'll still haf'ta marry ya ya know?"

Nigel gulped, and slowly walked back to Abby. She was now sitting up and chatting with Kuki. He swallowed the lump in his throat and held both her hands.

"Numbuh 1?"

"Abby…Numbuh 5…I…I…really have to tell you this. You've been my best friend, the best anyone could have and I…just…I think I…"

Abby's curious eyes bore deeply into his." Nigel…its ok. Ya can tell Numbuh 5 anything…"

"Numbuh 5…I lo-"

A/N –sighs- I know I don't own KND, but what can I do…R&R plz peeps!


	6. The truth

Chapter 5 

Nigel hesitated. "Abby…if I tell you this you still must…b…be my friend OK?"

Abby gave him a shocked look. "Of course Nigel, why would Numbuh 5 stop being yo' friend for no good reason?"

"O…ok Abby, that's what you said. He drew in some air and sighed. "Abby…i…think…I might have…I…i love you…" The boy's heart was palpitating fast against his chest, as his sapphire blue eyes locked with his operative's shocked brown ones.

Her eyes suddenly clouded with emotion. "Nigel…its Ok, cuz…Abby loves ya too, Nigel."

Nigel's eyes sparkled with happiness as he lunged up and held Abby tight in his arms. "Oh, thank you," he breathed contentedly. They pulled away and slowly, very slowly; the leader and second-in-command began to close in to one another, oblivious to the others watching. Before they knew what else had happened, their lips touched in a lip-lock.

Unfortunately, they weren't able to enjoy the sensation for long because after a few heartbeats later, there was a bright camera flash and the 2 operatives quickly pulled away and looked up.

Nigel growled. "Numbuh 3! Do you mind?"

"Sorry Numbuh 1, but you guys are sooo cute together! Aww!" The hyper girl made a dreamy expression and giggled. Hoagie strode over to the couple.

"Um…Numbuh 5, you actually don't have to worry about the baby anymore."

Abby stared at Hoagie, confused. "Why?"

He shuffled his foot on the wooden parapet. "Er…heheh…Numbuh 3, Numbuh 4 and I were just…Um, playing a little trick on you guys? Ehehe?"

"What the!" Abby stared at Nigel. "Ya mean Numbuh 5's not pregnant?"

Hoagie slunk back. "Yeah…isn't that great?" he scratched the back of his head nervously. "I…I mean then Numbuh 1 and you don't have to marry each other anymore, and you don't have to become a parent, and best of all, your parents don't have to become grandparents! How great is that?"

Abby and Nigel stared at each other, and gritted their teeth in annoyance. "Numbuh 2! All thanks ta' ya Numbuh 5 had ta' eat those pineapples! And…" she clenched her fists into tight balls. "Aw man, and Numbuh 5 had ta' drink that…that THING Nigel made me drink in the morning!"

Nigel smirked. "Abby, you know what? I command you to get Numbuh 2! NOW!"

Abby raised an eyebrow and grinned. "Sure Numbuh 1." She started to advance on Hoagie with an evil glint in her eye.

Hoagie crept backwards. "Numbuh 5! C…cool down would you! Well…all I did is make you and Numbuh 1 confess your feelings to each other! Ok! Ok! Sorry!"

"Hmph, yeah, like this makes Numbuh 5 feel better." She lunged at him with her hands in two tight fists. Hoagie shrieked while Numbuhs 1, 3 and 4 looked on with amusement. Nigel shook his head, admiration resting in those clear blue eyes of his and a small smile playing upon his lips. "Well, Abby always was a good girl wasn't she?"


End file.
